"Dearest Humanity,"
a short story
Gary Baker, June 2013
Dearest Humanity,
Today’s been a bad day for me, which, I can guarantee none of you could ever imagine -- trust me.
I’ve had the sort of day where you’re home alone, music playing softly, and your greatest crush bursts through your door practically begging to get laid... and you refuse on account of having too much self respect. The kind where a millionare pulls over in a billion-dollar car, tosses you the keys and says “take it, it’s all yours, no strings attached”... and you pass due to being unwilling to pay the insurance.
Yeah, I’ve had that kind of day -- the day that never seems to end, except, get this, mine never did. Ever.
